Yes, it has a circle drawn around it in ink pen. Doesn’t everyone do that when their kid gets a bug bite?
Yeah. No. They do not.
When I was carefully drawing the circle while Quinnlin’s leg was draped into the front seat of the car I was having flashbacks. I was remembering how Gage’s “bite” looked the first time we noticed it and several days later when he was being released from the hospital with MRSA.
Yes, that happened one month before Quinnlin’s transplant. While I was passing a kidney stone or two.
When the kids have something health related come up I naturally think down the road instead of in the moment. I think about the next steps, the preventative measures I should take to make sure their transplanted kidney is protected. Always. Think. About. The. Kidney.
I think about the worst that can happen in any given situation. That’s where my mind goes. Immediately. It’s what I do. It’s what I’ve done for years.
It’s not something I think about much anymore, really, I just operate in a state of thinking ahead and sometimes that means thinking the worst. It’s what is normal now for me. I’m not sure why the act of circling the bug bite brought me straight to MRSA and Gage’s incident but I was panicked and for someone that doesn’t really panic often, I made note.
Perhaps it’s how scary MRSA can be to anyone but especially someone who is immune compromised. People die from MRSA. Knowing that brings home the frailness that accompanies a life like ours. Sure, we’ve known life is fragile for a long time. So maybe that explains why I’m in tears thinking about the little things that can grown into big things that are life-threatening. Some days reality can hit hard.
Some days it kicks you in the face just in case you forget.
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