It’s been over a month or so, maybe longer, since I noticed someone on my blog who has been reading my entire blog since the beginning 8 years ago. That in itself happens a few times a month, but it is the posts that they are spending the most time on that have me thinking about them with a lot of compassion.
They bounced to my site from a post about how I am wrong to blog Gage’s mental health issues, since he is not of consent age. The site was blasting me, many people chimed in, (paraphrasing) just a sampling…
“What a horrible mother.”
“If my mother had done that I’d be furious!”
“What about his future? His job prospects? She’s ruined his chance for a normal life because it all stays on the Internet forever!”
The judgement. I felt it through the screen. It’s a good thing I’m used to it, so there isn’t much they can say that I already haven’t dealt with over the 8 years of living an online life. So, there is a lot on my blog to weed through, especially about mental health issues of a child. We struggled a lot, hence there being a lot to read.
To the person who is reading those posts, I’m sorry you have a reason to be reading those posts. I know how hard it is and how alone you feel. I know you feel inadequate, like there isn’t any way you can parent your kid the right way. I know it feels like you are doing the wrong thing and that you are questioning everything you are doing…is this right? Did I say the right thing? Did my kid just do that?
I felt all of those things a hundred times, maybe more. Then one day and the day after that it wasn’t so horrible. It wasn’t horrible because we just keep doing it. What do I mean by “it”? I mean we just tried one thing after another until something helped. When that didn’t help anymore we did something else. One day (2 years later) something worked and we built on that, well, we keep building on that today.
Hang on. It might not get better with everything you try, but my hope is that it will soon. Keep reaching out, keep searching for things that help. My last tip? Don’t worry about what people think about how you handle what your kid is going through. Not worth it.
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